FUTURE HEADLINES
Greenwich Time Editor David Warner Was Last Seen At The Greenwich Library Asking The Ladies At The Information Desk For Help In Finding The Book,"Blogging For Dummies"
The New Greenwich Time Editor Bill Clark Sends Sarah Littman To The Greenwich Library With A Camera, But Mr. David Warner Flee Out The Backdoor.
Greenwich Library Patrons Are Rolling On The Floor Laughing Their Rear Ends Off As Startled Librarians Are Forced To Call The Greenwich SWAT Team To Restore Order And Decorum
The local rag, AKA Yellowwich Time, strikes again. Today's front page carries the blooper that adorns today's blog title. Further proof, if any were needed, that the cretins who write for this doomed "newspaper" are functional illiterates.
And just as most cretins do not come from Crete, so one is unlikely to find Wyatt Earp and his ilk enforcing martial law. That task is reserved for a government's military forces, not some gun-toting marshal or local cop. A marshal may indeed uphold the law, but he ordinarily plays no part in martial law. Different horse, different color - not to mention different spelling. But as always, the yahoos at Yellowwich Time cannot be bothered to deal with such extraneous irrelevancies as facts.
By the way, Wyatt Earp (1848-1929) died in bed at age 80 without his boots on. He never did take any part in upholding martial law, since the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 expressly forbids military involvement in domestic law enforcement without congressional approval. To your scribe's best knowledge and belief, Congress has not approved martial law here in Greenwich, although with the recent invasion of our Town's ferries and islands by hordes of non-residents who steal our picnic tables by throwing our belongings on the ground and replacing them with their own, there are no doubt many local citizens who might be ready to sign a petition to that effect.
The occasion for the latest display of brazen ignorance by the unlettered staff of Yellowwich Time was a field exercise by the police department's SWAT team. In a coincidence of delicious irony, this activity took place in the now-vacant offices and newsroom of - wait for it - Yellowwich Time itself. What a pity that the cops didn't come up with this idea a year or two earlier, when they could have cleaned out a nest of chronic linguistic lawbreakers and shameless saboteurs of the truth at the same time. Now that would have been a public service of the first magnitude!
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