Betty Sternberg For Editor!
Something has got to be done about the shameful state of the local rag, aka Yellowwich Time. Today's banner headline says that work on the bridge at Exit 4 in Cos Cob will "effect" the Town for some time to come.
What are we to make of this cryptic statement? Your scribe's dictionary says that "effect" (v.tr.) means "to bring about, accomplish, make happen." So this bridge work is going to "bring about" our Town? Will it "accomplish" Greenwich? Perhaps it will "make" Greenwich into a more "happening" place?
Clearly this kind of gibberish has no place in our community. We need to take our highest-paid and highest-ranking so-called "educator", and immediately put her to work as editor-in-chief of the local rag. Think of the beauty of this solution, my friends: we take a walking disaster out of our school system, and we put her in charge of the dying disaster known as Yellowwich Time. Talk about killing two birds with one stone! When the Hearst people finally put the local rag out of its misery, they can cart Betty off at the same time. It's a clear win-win situation for the Town of Greenwich.
So write your congressman, email the governor, call Town Hall, and help to organize another picket march at the Havemeyer Building, home to our ever-popular Board of Ed. Let's hear it, folks! Betty Sternberg for editor!
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