How About A Potty Shaped House?
Valery Kogan May Resubmit Revised Mansion Plans To
The Greenwich Panning And Zoning Board
Dealbreaker
Are you working out of 72 Cummings Point Road? If you answered yes, do not order lunch today because there will be celebratory sheet cakes at noon on the house. What's there to celebrate, you ask? I know it might seem like nothing, what with the money, yours and investors', walking out the building, but au contraire my little she-males. There is MUCH to pump fists, bump bitch tits, and gorge yourselves on flour and water slathered in sickeningly sweet frosting over.
First: after over a month of struggle and adversity, the big guy has finally, finally been granted permission to add 1,145 square feet to his 35,000 square foot home which, I'm sorry, assholes, were previously attempting to begrudge him. At a town meeting earlier this week, the Planning and Zoning Commission voted 5-0 in favor of Big Daddy SC's application for the special permit. Though early accounts rumored that the extra space would go toward a room devoted exclusively to the playing of Candyland, the Times's Peter Applebome hears the addition will afford Stevie extra room for "more storage, a garden room, a breakfast room, and an expansion of the "his" dressing room." Once the double-decker Sub-Z's and extra George Foremans are installed, you will all be invited for a tour and BBQ.
Second, and way more importantly: it's looking like papa bear will not be out-toileted afterall. At the same town meeting, the Kogan family, they of "we want 26 toilets in our Greenwich, CT home" fame, seem to have cut off at the knees.
PLEASE ALSO SEE:
Greenwich Time
Board delays vote on second estate
Town billionaires: Think modest.
That was the message the Planning and Zoning Commission sent this week, approving investment magnate Steven Cohen's application for a mere 500-square-foot addition to his 35,000-square-foot home at 30 Crown Lane, while postponing a vote on Russian airline tycoon Valery Kogan's plans to build a 21,000-square-foot home on his seven-acre property at 18 Simmons Lane.
While Cohen's initial application for an expansion attracted national press, its review by the commission on Tuesday passed with nary a pointed finger.
"Does anyone have any questions?" Chairman Donald Heller asked after a short presentation from Cohen's attorney detailing plans for a new "his" dressing area.
After a short period of silence, Heller closed the application, which the commission later approved with similar expediency.
Olga Kogan, wife of Valery Kogan, was not so lucky. Despite a presentation from architect-to-the-affluent Richard Granoff detailing the care a construction team would show in building the mansion, to include Turkish and Finnish baths, servants' quarters, an indoor swimming pool and 15 toilets, a decision on the application was postponed until Jan. 20.
The commission wants more information on the traffic impact of the proposed 18-month construction period on narrow Simmons Lane. Despite their offer to hire a full-time police officer to direct traffic during that time, the Kogans have not put forth a worst-case-scenario estimate of truck trips per day down the lane.
The only available figure, Granoff said, is more than 300 truck trips to bring in fill to submerge the basement of the mansion not included in its square footage.
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