05/29/09 After growing up in Greenwich, Conn., the 26-year-old identical twins went to separate colleges. Yet when both graduated in 2005 and got ....

Roomies? Oh, Brother: Why Some Siblings Are Opting to Live Together

Express from The Washington Post

WE STOOD AT the Home Depot paint-mixing counter in an exasperated stalemate, paper samples of "Village Square" and "Toffee Crunch" shades clenched in our fists.

Then she said it. "I ... hate ... you." Her voice was flat and even, as frustration culminated in those three words. Then, to the horror of the salesman helping us, Tracey burst into tears.

Uh-oh. Maybe living with my sister wasn't such an inspired idea.

It was May 2008 and we were two weeks away from moving into the two-bedroom condo we'd bought together in Clarendon. How was I going to survive living with my younger sibling of three and a half years if we couldn't agree on how many gallons of paint we needed for our pad? But the contracts were signed, the mortgage loan ratified — I looked at Tracey and knew there was no turning back.

Of course, if I'd consulted roommate and sibling relationship experts before signing the lease, they would've predicted potential disaster.

"Our relationships with our siblings are very passionate ones," says Dorothy Rowe, a psychologist whose book, "My Dearest Enemy, My Dangerous Friend" ($18, Routledge), focuses on the dynamics of sibling relationships. "We care enormously about what our siblings think of us: their praise, their approval," Rowe says. "At the same time, we're scared of their criticism. If you've grown up together, your sibling knows just what to say to upset you, tease you or really hurt you. It's a very complicated relationship that doesn't get simpler as you get older."......

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