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Sunday, July 13, 2008

07/13/08 The Abominable Sandmen of Provincetown


There's been a serious outbreak of 'rumpy-pumpy' in the dunes. Oh, no! Not again! Well, this seems to be a recurrent theme - and, perhaps, it's just summer re-run time.

This is the funniest bit of prose I've read in

By The Phantom Cyclist

Cape Cod Today

... Now, let me state that nudity doesn't bother me. In my youth I once streaked a Baskin- Robbins in Greenwich, Connecticut. That was because ...

...The most egregious display of the "Sandman Circus" (as some locals call it) happened last year when a nice family, just like yours or mine, was hiking in the dunes. Their little boy was running ahead and then darted off into the bushes to play 'hide and seek' - and pop out at his parents and siblings as they strode by. What he got was the surprise of his life - because he had just stumbled upon a group of 'sandmen' en flagrante delecto.

He literally bounded over the bushes - hair standing on end, arms flailing like helicopter blades - and ran up to his family screaming those words a parent never wants to hear: "Mommy, there's a bunch of naked men behind the bushes - and they're playing Twister!"

The parents later wrote a letter of complaint and were responded to with an official apology, plus tickets to all the events at the next Provincetown Carnival Week. The little boy has been receiving counseling and seems to have readjusted to his normal life....

...There seems to be no end in sight of these rude 'doings in the dunes.' But, perhaps some kind of public forum could address the problem. In the meantime, the P-town police are at a disadvantage - and they'll be even more so, when the sandmen start to complain about 'profiling.'

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