The Greenwich Post's "Not So Highly Paid Columnist"
Susie Costaregni
To the Editors of the Greenwich Roundup:
Allow me to introduce myself: I am the grande of genuine gossip
I am...um...I wish to apply for the job of "The Dirty Dish Towel" You need a sleaze like meezzzzzz!!!!!!
You know, like the little town newspapers have. I can spot a Hollywood Star a mile away, as I pride myself with being completely absorbed in the lives of the "rich and famous." Needless to say, I don't have much else to do.
Yesterday, I spotted former First Lady, Barbara Bush, at the exit 13 rest area off 95. Without hesitation, I followed her into the ladies' room, where she did a quick hair check, before ducking into the 2nd stall. I stood where I could watch any foot movements, should any occur. Twice, she moved her left foot forward and back.
Barbara remained in the stall for exactly 4 minutes, 18 seconds. I was about to dive in the stall for ANY souvenir....a tissue, perhaps, but I was too focused on is she a "hand washer" or not?. The moment of truth...
She is. Whew!!!!!!!!!!!
Today, I saw Mayor Dan Malloy drop his son off at the high school. After the wave good-bye, he yelled out the window of the limo, "don't forget, you're getting drug tested tomorrow so don't !@#$ around or your mother will have a stroke." The son simply rolled his eyes and said "later, dude."
Now, may I apply for that job requiring good gossip gone gooder??
Oh, and my references include my former english teacher, Mr. Joseph Pisani. He taught me the lust necessary for newspaper writing and capturing that perfect moment. My high school hero. Joeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy P. Thank you.
Thank you
Penelope Papapimentino
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